Oh Sh*%

We finally have snow! It snowed for most of the night and it is still snowing, a beautiful, light snow, with several inches already on the ground. Needless to say, the boys are rather excited!! They asked to go out and play in the snow but I told them to play downstairs for a few minutes while I got ready to go. I went upstairs to brush my teeth and get ready. Not too long after Stellan headed upstairs. Panic set in when I noticed his pants were off and his onesies was undone. It was obvious that he did not have a diaper on. I quickly asked, "Did you poo?". "Yup!"
I quickly grabbed the wipes and a new diaper. I went to put the new diaper on but noticed that he didn't have any poo on his bum. This gave me a temporary moment of hope. I did notice that his onesie was a bit wet but there was no evidence of poo.
At this point Jameson came upstairs. I asked him, "Did Stellan poo?". With a great big smile and pride written all over his face he excitedly responded, "Yep! And it's all over the basement. I did it mommy!" Just try to imagine the huge smile plastered on his face. He was so proud of himself. It was at that point that I noticed he was wearing Stellan's pants. This was obviously a team effort.
My moment of hope had passed.
With much dread and fear I bounded down the stairs. I did a quick scan of the area at the bottom of the stairs and immediately to the left. Lots of toys but no obvious poo. I also didn't smell anything. A flicker of hope.
I rounded the corner and saw the dreaded diaper lying on the floor. I looked inside and noticed there was no poo. A good sign. Wait, was that a whiff?! Shoot.
I glanced on the floor and there was a pile of shiny, runny poo. Oh crap, literally! Oh wait a second, what are the geotrax doing in the poo? Oh, they've been taken for a joy ride through the pile of Stellan's feces. How lovely. That whiff quickly turned into an overwhelming stench.
I gently picked up the trains and gave them a quick wipe down. (In a moment of clarity I thought to bring the diaper wipes down with me.) I set them aside and quickly started gathering up the poo. Keep in mind that it was borderline diarrhea (he's been teething recently, he gets runny poo). So the gathering process was more like a smear-a-thon. I'm now seething (understatement). I assert some not so popular parenting techniques (desperate means call for desperate measures) and send them each to a different area to sit. Jameson is crying quite hysterically but Stellan is pretty oblivious. Since I'm great at multi-tasking, I manage to smear/spread/clean the pile of poo while managing to give the kids a rather loud tongue lashing. During a break in my ranting, Jameson managed to look at me with big crocodile tears in his eyes and say, "I still love you mommy". And the Oscar goes to......
We all ended up in a big cuddle on the couch where I told them both I loved them but they needed to sit quietly and just hug me and remind me that they actually are sweet children. They willingly obliged, I got my cuddle fill and then headed upstairs to put the trains in bleach.