Stop N Shop

The plan was simple, head out to the grocery store and pick up some much needed groceries. The store had the deluxe carts that look like fire trucks and other vehicles, thereby making the experience more toddler friendly. I even found a cart that had two functional seat belts and both steering wheels were still attached firmly in place. (Not so easy to find, usually something is broken.)
It really shouldn't have been too difficult. Afterall, I've seen many mothers bring their toddlers into stores and leave with their sanity in tact and still have bags overflowing with groceries.
The boys were quite excited to see the cart and promptly chose a side and buckled themselves in. (Forget mommy helping and actually speeding up the process. "I do it Mommy!")
I searched my purse for the list I specifically remembering ripping of the pad on the fridge. No luck; darn it! I grabbed the weekly flier and quickly perused the sales. (Some particularly good sales this week. I love sales!) Had a quick recall of most of the things I needed and headed out down the aisles. The boys did well through the produce, Jameson only stood up once (difficult to do since there is a roof on their part of the cart; he ended up leaning out of the windshield) and asked to help. That was a really sweet gesture but, from experience, I know that his help includes touching EVERYTHING and knocking over some of the perfectly piled produce. "No thanks sweetie, not this time." They got a bit antsy so I headed over to the lobster tank where they were quickly enthralled by the creatures waiting out there last time here on earth before being tossed into the pot, unsuspecting of their steamy demise. I had to manoeuvre the cart so that each of them had a chance to be next to the tank. We headed off to complete our list (well, the makeshift list I composed in my head) with promises of coming back if they had good behaviour. Stellan decided that it would be more fun to lean on Jameson than to sit straight. This did not please Jameson so he proceeded to choke Stellan. Stellan fought back and Jameson cried. Lovely. Before there was bloodshed I decided Stellan should move to the regular seat.
I gave them each a box of mac and cheese to shake in order to occupy themselves (so it annoyed some other patrons at the same time, at least they weren't screaming). This worked well until I decided to actually stop the cart and look for yogurt (a really good sale therefore quite a congested area). Stellan decided that shaking the box of mac and cheese wasn't good enough but throwing it on top of the roof of the cart was a lot more fun. Afterall, it does make a much louder noise. The inquisitive child that he is, he decided to test other delectables from the cart and see if they made loud noises when they hit the cart/floor/me/whateveritlandedon as well. I quickly scooped up the wayward food and headed out to finish the shopping, knowing that it was a battle against the clock before they completely lost it.
I was in the last aisle, stopping for just a moment. Jameson decided to hang his head out of the cart, it must have offered a bettter view. Problem is that he smashed his head off a passing cart. It really sounds worse than it was. I don't want to downplay the fact that it was dangerous and painful, but the two carts were barely moving so it truly wasn't as bad as it could have been. Oh the screams that errupted!! I truly believe that the entire Stop N Shop heard us. I also feel they judged us, but that's their problem. I gathered him up and kissed his head. The other cart driver felt badly but I told him not to worry, he shouldn't have been hanging out of the cart. A painful lesson learned, I hope. I now tried to steer the cart with one hand as I carried Jameson in my arms (not an easy task). I continued to smother him in kisses (I think he was more scared and embarrassed than hurt). We made it to the checkout lane where Jameson quickly improved seeing that he was now free of the cart and could touch things. He headed down the lane and proceeded to push all of the buttons on the credit/debit machine. I unloaded the groceries as fast as possible while trying to convince a screaming Stellan that he really didn't want to get out of the cart. He didn't believe me and kept trying to climb and free himself of the seat belt (thank God for seatbelts). The screams of protest continued as I tried to pay and reload my cart with the now bagged groceries. In the meantime, Jameson ventured over to other lanes to see what was going on. I was trying to keep him within reach all the while trying to keep a hysterical Stellan from plunging out of the cart and landing on his head. Everyone in the lanes was now looking at me and my hooligan children. I remained very calm and steered my troop out to the van. We got everything unloaded and headed back home. Some choice words were exchanged while we were driving but we all made it home in one piece.

Lesson learned: Wait to do the grocery shopping when James is home and can watch the boys.